“Look, I had no idea vampires were real. Why would I have believed that?”
“We only travel at night,” Jamie says. He looks around to Daria for support. “You’ve never seen either of us in daylight.”
Carmen scratches the back of her neck. “I thought maybe Daria was allergic to the sun or something. ‘Cause she’s so pale.”
Daria is looking at her like she’s never seen her before. “You’re a witch.”
“Duh,” Carmen says. “But just because I exist doesn’t mean you do. I mean, I’ve never seen any evidence of vampires before.
“We made you get rid of your silver jewelry,” Daria says.
“I thought that was because it’d attract muggers,” Carmen says. She shifts from foot to foot. “So I guess you guys aren’t drinking a lot of cranberry juice then?”
“No,” Jamie says flatly. “That’s blood.” He starts to say something else and stops. Raises a finger, opens his mouth, and deflates. Finally says, “What–what do you think we hired you for?”
“Well,” Carmen says, fiddling with her witch’s pouch around her waist, “in light of recent revelations, I’d rather not say.”
Daria and Jamie glance at each other. “I really think you need to say,” Daria says.
“Agreed,” says Jamie, folding his arms over his chest.
Carmen mumbles something under her breath.
“Extreme what?” Daria asks.
Carmen throws her hands up in the air. “Extreme LARPing okay? Live action roleplaying! I mean, what did you guys think when I stipulated no romantic relationships?” She looks mortified. “I told you guys my hard limits.”
Correction: if you wanna keep seeing NSFW content, y’all slip that switch OFF.
It’s not just for NSFW content! The system randomly flags cat pictures, completely SFW artworks and the likes! Tumblr will be in full control of what content you will get to see and screws over small artists as a side dish.
Best would be for EVERYONE to turn it off – especially since under the switch there is a function to filter tags now.
it’s kind of hilarious how some people actually do think mcu tony would feel offended by the superiority of shuri’s intellect like?? first of all he immediately hit it off with bruce, who’s technically smarter than him in a bunch of areas according to some marvel fan ratings. he acknowledges steve as the chief battle strategy voice while in the field. he literally made pepper his boss. helen cho talked about her regeneration craddle to tony like “this is the future, your clunky metal suits will be left to dust” and tony was all “great! that is EXACTLY the plan” he’s out there funding university research and enabling the superhero dreams of teens he saw on YouTube and whose coding abilities actually already beat his own like what on earth made people start thinking tony “futurist” stark is intimidated by human progress
The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.
“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.
The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”
“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.
“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”
“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”
“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”
“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”
The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”
This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.
“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud” is the best sentence I have ever read in my life
Taking the combined tablets, Platinum observed the Triforce pattern before looking at the crystal grid. And back to the pattern, then again to the grid.
“Perhaps…”
Leaving the tablets in the hands of Link, Platinum tapped the glowing squares methodically. Steadily, she formed a rough copy of the Triforce symbol, red squares against a blue background.
A series of musical notes then sounded, the wall with the crystal display then sliding up to reveal…something within a chamber with strangely sculpted inset walls.
It looked like a data vault, interestingly enough. But what did it contain?
“Sir Link, this may hold some data record of interest. I believe your device may be capable of fully reading it.” Platinum remarked.
“Well, we’ll find out,” Link replied, before approaching the vault and holding the Shiekah Slate up to it. He wasn’t too certain if it was capable of reading what was in this vault, but he may as well find out.
As it turned out, the Slate could indeed read the data.
The device’s screen fizzled a bit before it resolved into a recording of an elderly man, who looked to be some sort of priest if his attire was any indication.
“Blessed Link, if you are seeing this message then our efforts here have not been in vain.”
“I am…I was…High Mechanist Dara. My title matters no longer. The empire is but dust and wind now among empty ruins. Calamity Ganon will not stay dormant forever. My people and I in this Shrine have spent our last efforts to ensure you have powerful tools to aid your journey should you return here.”
Dara coughed, a sickly sound. “I only hope…you will use them well. Good luck.”
“My life…for Hyrule.”
And with that, the message ended. Suddenly, a sound from the data vault drew Platinum’s attention.
The vault itself seemed to open up, something contained within.
The adventurous Fleet Admiral’s eyes widened as she saw what the vault held. A pristine and complete set of armor, all ivory-white and lined gold.
Were it not for the egregious amounts of glowing blue Hylian script adorning the armor’s gilded trim, Platinum would have mistaken it for Orokin armor. Though there was already quite the similarity.
While the armor had nothing that resembled shield systems, it did seem to have some form of self-repair in addition to its durability.
“Sir Link, I believe…this armor was meant for you.”
Initiative Archival Network 